new blog

new blog at http://kalanamei.blogspot.com/ just about my time in INDIA!

:)

I am going to change my blog to be about my coming up trip. I am going to go and work in an orphanage or with street children in a 3rd world country. I am not entirely sure where yet. India is on my heart, but I am a little worried about trying to go and live there for 9 months...Also i have been having a hard time finding a connection/ministry over there. Cambodia is also on my mind. I have been there twice, just brief trips (about 3 weeks) where I worked with orphanages and street kids. So i know I love it there, I like the food, I feel safe, and I have connections! But I am still unsure. I'm planning to leave by the end of summer and by back mid spring. I also have connections to orphanages in Romania and Japan but neither of these have really been on my heart. 

I am really very excited to see where I go and what happens. I have always loved children and my times in Cambodia are some of my favorite memories! I know it will be amazing, where ever I go! 

In several of my classes we are working on poetry. I dislike it. That's putting it mildly. For me poetry is supposed to reveal some deep emotion or thought. And right now I just don't want to go digging through all the emotions, and to after finding it putting it on paper to be judged. I have always hated the idea of people being able to see me, not physically see me but see the real me, the emotions, fears, failures, along with my dreams and hopes. And so carelessly place them on paper where anyone may see them terrifies me. It would probably be different if I wrote poems well....But that isn't really even the point. Right now with taking 21 credits, working 2 jobs (for a total of 36ish hours a week), interning with my churches youth group and doing sunday school I don;t have the time or energy to go deep into myself and pull out an emotion. Poems seem to need some very powerful, and often painful emotion. I just don't want to get into those. Sometimes turning your face away from the ugly is good, without attention it shrivels and dies but other times it grows and grows. I guess in looking over this I would say I need to go though and work out those emotions, but I am not looking forward to it...Maybe I will just wait a bit longer.....

Living in Hawai'i

Living in Hawai'i i get to see the most beautiful sights. Earlier this week I went down to the pier and went stand up paddling with some friends. We Paddled out into the water and then when we were far out we saw dolphins and fish and a rainbow over the Island. It was so beautiful. Sometimes you take where you live for granted but being out in the water looking up into the dark green mountains and the faint rainbow I once again got to see the Paradise that visitors to Hawai'i see.